Must My Wannabe Influencer Pal Cease Using People for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?